Never marry a pretender
Some people are not who or what they claim to be. In public, they appear ‘God-like,’ but in private, they are mischievous! If you really want to know who someone is, ask their spouse.
It takes grace and a discerning spirit to identify pretenders. They are goats in beautiful sheep’s clothing. Singles, be watchful. Bosses, be discerning!
When a colleague or friend pretends to be kind just to gain your trust for an engagement or business, you may feel an inner check or restriction as a believer. Do not ignore such promptings – God leads His people, but many fail to listen.
God’s leading sometimes doesn’t make sense to man. For instance, in marriage, if you end up with the wrong person, it’s likely your fault.
The Bible warns about the dangers of marrying a contentious and quarrelsome person:
Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV)
Courtship should be taken very seriously. Spend time getting to know and interviewing each other thoroughly and prayerfully, alongside godly counsel.
Ask questions about everything possible. Pray, and carry your trusted mentors or leaders along.
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV)
Never marry a pretender.
So, how do you recognize a pretender?
Jesus said:
A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit… Therefore by their fruits you will know them.”
Matthew 7:18, 20 (NKJV)
Look at the fruit.
If you and your partner frequently quarrel and fail to resolve conflicts amicably during courtship – resorting instead to malice and gossip – such a relationship may not be sustainable. Face the truth. Have honest discussions about it, or run for your life!
Observe the lifestyle of his or her parents. Their habits may have influenced your partner unless their mind has been renewed by the Word of God.
Many times, God may lead someone into your life for marriage. However, if you are not ready – or if you are deceitful – you might unknowingly repel or disrupt God’s plan. Be faithful and straightforward, even during courtship.
Ask God for the strength and grace to be sincere, transparent, and free from pretense.
A godly marriage is intentional, possible, and sweet! It is the will of God.
Your marriage can be as delightful as a pizza pie.
Scriptural Reference: Matthew 7:15–20
Written by Anu Mustapha
