“Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.”
– Ruth 1:16 (NKJV)
I witnessed a story of a couple that I loved so much. For the purpose of privacy, let’s call the man “Larry”. Before marriage, Larry and his fiancée tried hard to please each other. Even though they were church workers, they crossed boundaries and depended more on feelings than on God. Larry had waited until he was 40 before getting married because he wanted the best. Believing that he had finally found “the one,” He gave his wife everything he could afford and hoped love would carry them through.
Larry truly loved his wife, but barely two weeks after their wedding, something changed. Reality showed up! Joy faded, excitement disappeared, and he became frustrated and confused. The romance they depended on vanished. Little misunderstandings became big fights. Love that once felt sweet turned painful. The same people who couldn’t stay apart now couldn’t stay at peace. How did lovers turn into enemies so quickly in the same home?
During counseling, it became clear that they both had not been honest during courtship. They hid important issues and told lies just to impress each other. By the time the truth came out, their hearts were wounded.
Marriage exposes the truth. There is no place to pretend.
Less than two weeks into the marriage, Larry was asking to see me. He was already talking about divorcing his wife. I could not believe my ears. Even family support and church counseling could not repair the damage. Sadly, the marriage ended within a few months.
This is a hard truth: sex, chemistry, and strong emotions matter, but they are never enough. Feelings can fade. Attraction can change. What keeps a marriage standing is intentional love, honesty, patience, and commitment.
A healthy marriage grows where there is openness. When couples are truthful, trust grows. When trust grows, fear reduces. Transparency during courtship and marriage creates a safe haven where questions can be asked without anger and answers can be given without fear.
Marriage is not just a feeling, it is a covenant. As believers, we are called to love, even on days when love feels hard. Love is a choice. Love stays. Love forgives. Love works.
Maybe your marriage feels tired. Maybe there has been betrayal, distance, or pain. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. God is not done with you. Ask Him for mercy and wisdom. Forgive yourself too. In Christ, you are not your past. You can start again.
Love does not give up easily. Redeeming love is patient. It does not retaliate. It does not keep record of wrongs. It allows God to heal what looks broken.
Prayer
Oh Lord, let my heart be tender before you to forgive easily and let go of the past. Grant me grace to choose love and commitment every day.
Love Action
Take time today to reflect. Ask God to show you areas where honesty and patience are needed. Trust Him for grace to rebuild. It is not too late.
Scripture
Matthew 22:37–39
This article was written by Anu Mustapha, a relationship writer passionate about helping singles build intentional, meaningful relationships.
