Tolu met him at a wedding. Fine. God-fearing , or so she thought. He said grace before meals, knew his scriptures, showed up to church when she invited him. Three months in, she realised something felt off.
He wasn’t against God. He just wasn’t really with Him either.
No personal prayer life. No desire to grow. Faith was background noise for him, it was everything for her. And slowly, quietly, Tolu started dimming her own light to match his level.
This is more common than people admit
It’s not always about dating a non-Christian. Sometimes the gap is between two people who both call themselves believers, but one is actively pursuing God and the other is coasting.
That gap is real. And it has consequences.
What does the Bible say?
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Amos 3:3
Agreement here isn’t about liking the same music or having the same love language. It’s about direction. About what you’re both moving toward. If your faith shapes how you handle money, conflict, parenting, and purpose and theirs doesn’t, you’re going to keep bumping into that difference.
The hard truth
You cannot love someone into spiritual maturity. You can pray for them, encourage them, be an example, but their relationship with God is not yours to fix.
What often happens instead is the more grounded person starts compromising. Skipping church to keep the peace. Letting go of convictions to avoid conflict. Trading depth for comfort.
Tolu eventually sat David down and told him the truth: she needed a partner who was actually pursuing God, not just tolerating faith because of her. It was one of the hardest conversations she’d ever had.
It was also the most honest she’d been with herself in months.
You deserve someone who doesn’t just know about God, but is actually walking with Him.
Have you ever been in this situation? Drop your honest answer below. No judgment here.
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