Ignoring money matters during courtship is a big risk!
Financial insecurity in marriage causes tension and conflict.
Questions like “Who is the spender? Who is the saver?
When would we be having our first car or house?
Who works and who stays at home? Are we both working?
How much do you earn?”
Some people shy away from money issues in relationships. Who pays the bills? Do not assume you know until you talk about it.
A time of courtship is a time to ask critical questions and clear things up.
Money is so necessary to fulfill dreams and make people happy. It may not make people joyful as it takes the spirit of God. But it can bring some comfort, honor, and happiness.
Many marriages fail because of poverty which should not be.
Proverbs 14 vs 20 says
Wealth maketh many friends; But the poor is separated from his neighbour.
Prioritize your finances as you get to know each other. I am not saying that you should spend all your money on your friend during courtship or dating, no. Be wise, financial commitment should not be 100% until you get married.
You may support each other but there should be no sense of entitlement. What if you eventually break up the relationship? Watch out!
You should respect your partner’s desire as to whether he or she would like to work or not. If you don’t appreciate the idea, then talk about it.
Both of you must agree, and obviously at least one of you should work to support the family. Some ladies prefer to pay the bills, which may be quite strange to some men. Some prefer to share the bills. Ideally, the man should have a job, earn, and pay the bills. In today’s world, some things are shifting.
“Trusting one another is one of the most important elements of your relationship and a crucial element of any lifetime commitment.”
Ensure that you know whether your partner lives on credit or has some investments somewhere. Nothing to be hidden!
Finally, selflessness is common during courtship.
Talk about it if your friend is selfish. Sometimes, people bring in the trauma and experiences of the past or baggage of their family into a marital relationship. Don’t judge him or her yet. Your partner may not be aware that he or she is selfish.
Marriage is for two, not for one. So, it is not okay to be selfish. Genesis 2:24
This can be taught, don’t be quick to break up.
A godly marriage starts from day one during courtship. It has roots. Foundations should be well laid.
Avoid getting married without first of all getting a job or being in business. It is foolish to plan only for the wedding day. No parent wants to commit his or her child to suffer. Faith requires some actions. Do not say I have faith to get a job after my wedding, why not get that first?
Set your finances before saying ‘I do’.
Written By: Anu Mustapha
